Nope

I’ve got nothing right now. There’s nothing to say. I’m sitting here and trying to get something out, but it feels like I’ve lost all ability to put words together. Yeah, right now, at this moment, it feels like I won’t be able to write anything ever again. Like, I’ve just lost whatever it was that enabled me to write anything. What could I write about right now? I don’t feel like there’s anything to say.

This is the worst. I’ve been sitting here at this computer for a while, and I’m just not getting any ideas. The clock just keeps ticking away. And now my eyes hurt from staring at this computer screen. I played basketball last night, and I hadn’t played since last spring, and now my body is kind of sore. So sitting down is uncomfortable and standing up is uncomfortable.

And I thought I was going to go to the gym today, but I didn’t. I made meatballs for dinner. My plan was to make three pounds of meatballs, and just store them away so I’d have them for a while. But I don’t know what happened. They were so good. I ate more than half of the meatballs. I’m having like a meatball hangover.

I watched the Giants game. That was great, one, because I’m a Giants fan, but two, and more importantly, I made this ridiculous trade with my brother-in-law at the beginning of our fantasy league. I traded Andre Brown for Eli Manning, a trade that was dangled in front of my face like a joke. And I thought, you know what? I believe in Eli. And so I accepted. And everyone in the league got pissed. But Eli just scored me like forty-five points, because I started him.

If you don’t do fantasy, that probably made no sense to you. I only started doing fantasy last year, not really having any knowledge of football before that. But yeah, it sucks you in. Right before the week starts, I read a couple of fantasy blogs and make my roster. And then I just kind of zone out and wait for the scores to trickle in on Sunday. This week I’m facing the same brother-in-law that gave me Eli Manning. We have a little side bet going on. If I win, Mike has to, whenever I ask him, at any given time, make my other brother-in-law Matt a sandwich.

That sounds like a pretty lame bet, right? Wrong. Because last year when Mike and I faced each other, we had a bet that the loser had to make the winner a sandwich whenever he wanted. And Mike still has yet to cash in on that sandwich. And I don’t blame him. The whole idea of him being able to force me to make him a sandwich is so much more powerful than just having a sandwich. Because once that sandwich is gone, boom, that’s it, the power vanishes. But as it stands right now, Mike can technically call me up right now and have me make him a sandwich.

So yeah, if I win this week, I’ll have effectively neutralized his sandwich powers. Because as soon as he gives me the go ahead to make me a sandwich, I’ll give him the order to make Matt a sandwich. And I can’t ever see that happening. It would be mutually assured destruction. Nobody wants to see Matt have a sandwich.

But, and this is a very real possibility here, if Mike wins this week, I have to write a blog post about how awesome he is. A whole day, dedicated to Mike. Luckily, Eli really pulled through for me this week. And it’s all because I believed in Eli when everyone else in the world was saying that his time as an elite quarterback is in the past. That’s right, I was the only one who believed in Eli.

Anyway, that’s it, I’m tired, it’s too late. Tomorrow I’m going to get back on track of this blog and start writing some actual posts. Once the meatballs are out of my system.

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