I ran the Long Island Marathon yesterday, and all I’ve got to say is, thanks Ed! Thanks for taking the entire race and making it all about you, Ed Mangano, the Nassau County Executive. I was so happy when I went to the race expo on Saturday, when one of the workers handed me my race bag. Imagine how excited I was to see your name, Ed Mangano, printed on both sides of the bag that contained all of my race stuff.
“County Executive: Ed Mangano” front and back. Thanks Ed! And thanks for putting your name on everything that was inside the race bag also. Like the race t-shirt. Everyone loves getting race t-shirts, those wearable trophies that have become commonplace for even the smallest of races. I’m glad you saw fit to use these shirts as opportunities to further drive home the fact that you, Ed Mangano, are in charge of Nassau County.
Thanks Ed, thanks for printing your name in bold letters on both sides of that race t-shirt. This is perfect, because now it doesn’t matter if people are running behind me or coming at me from the opposite direction. Never again will anybody who sees me wearing my race t-shirt ever have to ask themselves, “I wonder who the executive is for Nassau County.” They’ll just see me and they’ll know that it’s you, Ed Mangano, Nassau County Executive. Thanks Ed!
But that’s only good for when I’m exercising. So thanks, Ed, for including that Ed Mangano Nassau County Executive lanyard in my bag of race goods. I’ve already attached it to my keys, so now the lanyard sticks out of my pocket, your name printed every three inches or so, Ed Mangano, over and over again. It’s perfect. I’m glad the seventy-five dollars I paid to run the race made it possible for you to have all of this political advertising printed across every aspect of race paraphernalia.
Like the race medals. Thanks Ed, for having the foresight to have your name inscribed in the back of the medal. Some lesser people might think it a little much, overkill even, to have your name forged in metal hanging around the necks of every race participant, but years from now, if I ever decide to go through all of my race medals, I’ll never forget just who happened to be the Nassau County Executive in 2014. It’s you. Ed Mangano.
The same guy who has his names on every taxi on Long Island. Ed Mangano. Thanks Ed! I was a little disappointed, looking back at all of those other races that I’ve run, the New York City marathon never said anything about Bloomberg. Doesn’t that guy know anything about being a politician? You have to get your name out there, everywhere.
Thanks Ed, that despite my political leanings, I now get to proudly think of your name every time I even casually remember running the Long Island Marathon. Ed Mangano, County Executive. Thanks Ed. Thanks a lot. Thanks for making me look at your name like ten thousand times this weekend.