Germany beat Argentina in the World Cup final today, and I totally called it. Before the opening ceremonies, I had correctly predicted that it was going to be Argentina vs. Germany, and that Germany was going to win one nothing in extra time. Here’s an excerpt from my notes written last month:

It’s totally going to be Germany up against Argentina, with the Germans scoring the lone point during overtime. I tell this to people and they think I’m crazy, that there’s no way Brazil isn’t going to make it at least to the finals. But I’m telling you, I I had a dream the other night, the ghost of Pele warned me that two of Brazil’s top players are going to be injured. I know I don’t really follow soccer at all, but I just have such a strong gut feeling that my prediction is accurate. I guess a month from now we’ll see, right?

Right. I’m actually a little shocked. I mean, I make crazy predictions all the time. I predicted (incorrectly) that the New York Giants were going to win the Superbowl. I foresaw (also incorrectly) that I was going to beat my little brother Joe in a footrace at my parents’ house, down to the lake and back. He totally cheated, and so sure, I can call bullshit all day, but I technically didn’t win, and so I can’t say that I called that one.

But this one, wow, the World Cup. I called it. Are there any editors at any top tier soccer magazines or web sites reading this blog? If so, I’m going to have to ask you to all line up politely as you scramble to beg me to start writing for you. I’ll get back to all of you eventually, I just urge patience.

Anyway, I’ve never been more confident in my prediction skills now that I’ve successfully intuited a month in advance the results to one of the biggest sports events on the planet. I’m confident enough, actually, to make another claim: that this year, the New York Islanders are going to crush the Minnesota Wild to win the 2015 Stanley Cup. It’s going to happen. I’m calling it. I’m on a roll. It’s going to happen.